Relationships are hard to maintain. It touches very deep parts inside you, it makes you more insecure and usually more dumber. Relationships are hard.
It is extremely rare in nature to have two independently actors to align and to keep on that. It is often each partner in a different stage in the relationship than the other. The expectations change and so are the responsibilities. We are human and it is imperative we are insecure and subject to external factor. I have been telling my friends I cannot even plan for tomorrow’s dinner let alone my life goals. It is just too hard to get it right. And i settled from the easiest path; I didn’t plan for anything, nor did i commit. Relationships are not for everyone.
I like to simplify stuff, it is a way for us human to understand higher dimensional problems. In this case, i always like to compare my relationship with my girlfriend to those with my friends. Sure, they are quite different, but they share many of the underlying infrastructure. After all, we are all human. And for that I always believed the most successful relationships are the ones based on friendship. It is unlikely that you don’t love your friends. But that didn’t work out, too. There’s no simple equation to solve the love, and it will definitely not be a linear one.
Relationships are hard and perhaps that is why we don’t like to get off them. They are very exhausting, mentally and emotionally. That is perhaps why we would rather stay in toxic relationships than getting off of them.
Cheating is not allowed in relationships, you should always be on board with your partner. It is often in relationship you be in different stages in the relationship, it is important to notice that and disclose it. It is cheating to not do so, and it mostly devastating to do so. We, apparently, don’t like to be fooled. It was appropriate to tell the partner the relationship is not moving well.
つづく