I just noticed the single thing i have been dreaming to have is a matt. That is ridicluos i know, but I digged a little bit deeper to understand why.

Settlement. The reason i have been so focusing on the matt is that i truly wanted to settle, to have a home and the feeling that comes with it. But i couldn’t get anyone.

Now, i actually have the money to buy a matt, a nice lovely good one. But, i resent it. I’m not feeling well deep down and the matt (with all of the lovely feelings i imagine wih it) is totally against what my current state of mind is. I’m in a mess, a huge fucking mess…

No matt for the wicked, eh…