Since December 19th, 2023 (the fall of Medani) i couldn’t at all picked up on coding, or doing any career-related activities. Impulsively tried to work super hard in the next week post Medani fall just to escape from all of the worries and fears and laser focus on my https://nil.sd work.
I have always been excellent on isolating my work from my life. I recall I was hesitant to take couple of days off to attend my late grandma funeral back when i was TAing at uofk. I went to the dean and he told me i was not supposed to come that earlier and I could have taken some extra days off.
Different people respond to shocks in various ways. Mine is a tricky one in that i don’t feel the shock spontaneously, i don’t crumble immediately under the weight of adversity or pain, it takes me a while to fully comprehend the magnitude of the situation. And then the full impact starts to hit all at once and a door to hells unfolds.
Don’t be ruthless unto yourself