Non-Techie

i was talking to online friends recently about what better dictates an older brother. The reponses i was swarmed with was nothing less than helpful and wholesome. Thanks a lot fellas. Yet my very initial thoughts were unanswered, partly because it is actually me who’s supposed to answer them. The question was not really how to become a good older brother but more of why I feel i’m lacking. I will go with the standard template: guidance, support, being present and being there for them. That seems really really good, and it is also nontrivial. The more you age, the more your life, network and responsibilities branch out and only grow up. My friend would always say choose your own battles. ...

Sometimes i legit be wondering about life. What is life? What is the whole point? What is the point of living? This is not a question that i can answer, nor is it a warning sign about my mental situation. I’m good thank you. But, this mundane, routine thing is becoming extremely irritating. An important person to me used to say that they were a virtual person in the process to become an individual. I think it was a quote from a movie that i never get to watch. What does it truly mean to become an individual? Is it worth it either? I’m afraid i’m even wind up losing that virtual person in the process of becoming an individual… ...

I just noticed the single thing i have been dreaming to have is a matt. That is ridicluos i know, but I digged a little bit deeper to understand why. Settlement. The reason i have been so focusing on the matt is that i truly wanted to settle, to have a home and the feeling that comes with it. But i couldn’t get anyone. Now, i actually have the money to buy a matt, a nice lovely good one. But, i resent it. I’m not feeling well deep down and the matt (with all of the lovely feelings i imagine wih it) is totally against what my current state of mind is. I’m in a mess, a huge fucking mess… ...

Sometimes i legit be wondering about life. What is life? What is the whole point? What is the point of living? This is not a question that i can answer, nor is it a warning sign about my mental situation. I’m good thank you. But, this mundane, routine thing is becoming extremely irritating. An important person to me used to say that they were a virtual person in the process to become an individual. I think it was a quote from a movie that i never get to watch. What does it truly mean to become an individual? Is it worth it either? I’m afraid i’m even wind up losing that virtual person in the process of becoming an individual… ...

The fact i still have my ex’s gifts is nothing short of a surprise to me. i still have: her mug a lovely backpack an oracle speaker pocket shoes jalabya على الله Up until a few days ago, i kept a present i was meaning to give it to her (though i didn’t), before i gave to a friend. The truth is, i suck at keeping things around, i mean even if i want to, it is just so difficult for me to keep things. i’m not that type of people, but when it came to her i just couldn’t. And it only gets weirder as i rarely use any of those items: ...

Just to confirm: i have dated before, i kinda did the whole process so i’m very well familar with how dates are practically been conducted. The only problem is i usually was more or less invited to the dates and that what is making things this complex. Why dating has became more difficult? Or, is it just me? Well, this really and truly is a personal issue, but one way of reasoning about the issues i ran into – the bugs, is by speaking them out loud (usually to myself or with a colleague / friend, but you gotta do what you got.) ...

Money’s paper is a special type of papers that only used by authorized companies. It is typically used in the company’s official documents e.g., contracts. A friend of mine (a bad one that actually thinks our governors are villain, screw you anti-progression), he was being summoned in response to his recent posts. Anyways, once he got there, he found his own posts were printed on money papers. Those were bloody valuable posts he got. ...